Tuesday, February 27, 2007

51,982 Words

Still heard nothing about that job. Well, not nothing exactly; I heard on the grapevine that it was between me and one other candidate, and I was told it would be sorted out by the end of last week. Today is Tuesday and I still can't get any answers. I tried calling them but the woman from personnel said they couldn't be contacted and she'd make sure they got back to me. But I know local government - know it well - and I'd bet anything they're fiddling around with the hours to try and fit us both/all in, only there are so many rules and regulations that they can't just hire us, they'll still have to hire just one candidate for now, but they can create and advertise new posts and make the others apply again. I once vowed never to go back into local government; for a time I forgot why, now I remember all too clearly.

My current inability to make any kind of plans is affecting my writing. I don't seem to be able to get going, I don't feel settled. Our lives are so tightly scheduled and this web of mine so precariously flimsy: the whos and wheres and whens set down in spidery scribbles across the too-small squares of the family calendar; the thorn in my side that is a mother wanting to change our joint school-run rota, which suits me just fine the way it is; the childminder who's hanging on, waiting to see if I need her or not - not wanting to let me down, not wanting to let others down. They have no idea, the potential employers, of the stress generated by a single week of uncertainty.



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