46,935 Words

48 hours and no response from J. I've tried everything I can think of and I'm getting worried now. I know it's not a long time but for a writer, getting that first book published is such a crisis point: you build your hopes up and they're dashed - your skin thickens a little, you build them up again, more cautiously this time, and again - shot down. Then someone approaches you with an offer and the initial reaction is disbelief - denial. It's a joke, it's got to be. Someone's just having a laugh at your expense or they got you confused with someone else. Then you begin to think it might really happen. Then you check his Ebay profile and discover that he's currently auctioning Iraqi dinar, 10,000 at a time (provenance unknown). Maybe I'm being naive but if that's completely legal it still doesn't sound ethical to me. All that money for reconstruction was stolen, billions of dollars' worth, some in US, some in gold and some in dinar, and here it is being traded on Ebay. He's by no means the only one selling it - not by a long shot, but I can't help feeling that something isn't quite right. I still hope I'm wrong, and that everything will come up roses in the end. I feel like someone's pathetic ex-girlfriend who just won't stop calling.

Yours, in pieces,
A